“The Graduate”

I was twenty two years old

I was living in New York City

I was a woman

and I was so angry

about so many things 

I still used my fingers to count

eating breakfast scared me

my face gave my thoughts away

words left an indelible mark

peeling oranges was becoming 

less annoying 

red lights were not a signal

to stop walking 

the smell of rain excited me

blue was my favorite color

a rooftop was a place for dancing 

topless and doing cartwheels 

citibikes were the best mode 

of transportation 

the sun was a gift, the moon a friend

music was more than music

everything was changing 

and stuff was burning everywhere

I wanted to yell at the people

who walked past me

as if they hadn’t

seen bits of my soul 

and used it against me

I tried to be graceful about 

my rage

but I was jaded and spiteful 

and I hated people who 

spat on the floor

there was nothing I didn't 

feel enormously 

I wanted to be everything 

and I needed someone to tell me

I didn't have to be anything at all

at ten am I wanted to kill myself

at eleven I was in love with a total stranger 

at five I was scared I was not going to make it

at eight I couldn’t cry

at nine I remembered I am a daughter 

at ten I laughed at myself

and I kept on laughing for hours

ridiculous, human thing

human, human, human

ML, April ‘25.